Friends were talking about their former life in the maritimes provinces of Canada. They left the maritimes because of hurricanes but came to the west coast of Canada only to experience a storm and 4 day long power outage.

Mum: I thought the maritimes were Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba?
Dad: No, the maritimes are the east coast provinces 

Mum: then what are Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manintoba?

Dad: THE PRAIRIES 

Somebody get a dictionary

Scene: Mum plays the game Boggle and frequently asks me the spelling of words. The simplest of words.

Mum: How do you spell quittal?

Me: Quittal? Can you say that in a sentence?

Mum: You know, like the law court word. He got a quittal.

Me: Its ACQUITTAL. It’s one word.

Mum: Oh. I wonder who that was who got an A+ in spelling in 3rd grade?

Me: Are you sure it wasn’t alphabet recital?

OMG PLEASE

Mum: Actually, I really enjoy phratography, your uncle took a course on phr-

Me. ITS PHO-TOGRAPHY. NOT PHRATOGRAPY.

I’m a bit of a pronunciation nazi. When people mispronounce things I tend to lose it like the grammar nazis. It actually makes me physically angry when people mispronounce words. When people say “member” instead of “remember” also really ticks me off. Not the same word!

Mum also pronounces ‘guitar’ as ‘kitaur’ which really bugs me.