Scene: Mum and I decide to go out shopping. When arriving at the store I catch my reflection in the mirror and to my horror notice that my hair is very disheveled.
Me: Mum! Why didnt you tell me that it looked like I stuck my hair in a blender?!
Mum: Because when we go out, your hair often looks like that.
Me: !!! MY HAIR IS NATURALLY CURLY ITS NOT MY FAULT!!!!
Mod note: Seriously!! I do my best to make sure it looks neat and tidy but its hardly my fault if moisture and humidity makes my hair curl and look frizzy and gross. Furthermore, when I was a kid, my mom would CONSTANTLY ask me if I combed my hair when I attempted to leave the house. And yes I had, its just that it was curly and frizzy, and unkempt was its very nature. All the combing in the world wouldnt smooth out the frizz. Its very frustrating growing up with curly hair when you have a mum who placed so much importance on appearance.
Me: Want to see a video of a dog?
Me: Hes the worlds tallest dog! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea0xiUv95bQ
Mum: I wonder why?
Me. Because he’s tall.
Scene: At Starbucks ordering drinks on a hot summer day
Barista: What is your name so I can put it on your cup?
Mum: Just put BJ please.
Me: OMG mum. When those are your initials, PLEASE, just give them your name!
Mod note: My mum is super paranoid about giving out her name. Shes super paranoid about her privacy and even the fact that her doctor has medical files on her. “What if someone reads them!” What, the doctor? Mum. Nobody cares about your medical files. -_-
I do apologize to my readers for not updating this in six months. I’ve not been busy, I’ve been sitting next to mum twenty four hours seven just waiting for her to say funny things. Sometimes its not really funny things so much as funny sounds. Ive got another post in mind but its slipped my mind at the moment. (ETA; Its there now)
Mum: So I guess those people in Libya went AWOL on the Americans at the embassy.
Me: What. AWOL?
Mum: Yeah, you know, crazy.
Me: You think AWOL means crazy?
Me: MUM it means Absent With Out Leave, and it is a military term for when a soldier leaves his active duty without permission and does not return!