Mum: Your cat makes the perfect poops!
Me: What. How do you know what the perfect cat poop is like.
Mum: Well its rounded like a cookie, and it has a slight indentation in the bottom!
Mum: *shows me how the perfect cat poop looks using a elastic hair band*
Me: … Wow mum. Wow.
Scene: Watching a commercial, the actor in the commercial has a large hook nose.
Mum: Where’d he get that hooker!
Me: MOM! YOU CANT SAY THAT!
Me: I had this dream that I was watching a parade, and there was a girl on her horse, and they got knocked over and pinned under a bus!
Mum: WAS THE HORSE OKAY??
Scenario: Watching the news fluff article on how “Leap babies” born on February 29 only celebrate their birthday once every four years and therefor only age up every 4 years. So if you are 20 you’re only…5. Yeah, right.
Mum: Boy am I ever glad I missed February 29 by x amount of days!
Dad: You weren’t born on a Leap Year.
Mum: I wasn’t? Oh!
Dad: It has to be a year divisible by four!
Mum: If I ever collapse, I want you to take off my jewelry immediately! I will not be happy if I wake up in hospital and my jewelry is missing!
Me: Never mind calling 9-1-1 first.
Mum: Thats right! (In other words, DONT!)