Cookies are ruined for me now.

Mum: Your cat makes the perfect poops!

Me: What. How do you know what the perfect cat poop is like.

Mum: Well its rounded like a cookie, and it has a slight indentation in the bottom!

Me: …

Mum: *shows me how the perfect cat poop looks using a elastic hair band*

Me: … Wow mum. Wow.


That’s his wife

Scene: Watching a commercial, the actor in the commercial has a large hook nose.

Mum: Where’d he get that hooker!


I dont want to be 15!

Scenario: Watching the news fluff article on how “Leap babies” born on February 29 only celebrate their birthday once every four years and therefor only age up every 4 years. So if you are 20 you’re only…5. Yeah, right.

Mum: Boy am I ever glad I missed February 29 by x amount of days!

Dad: You weren’t born on a Leap Year.

Mum: I wasn’t? Oh!

Dad: It has to be a year divisible by four!


Life and limb?

Mum: If I ever collapse, I want you to take off my jewelry immediately! I will not be happy if I wake up in hospital and my jewelry is missing!

Me: Never mind calling 9-1-1 first.

Mum: Thats right! (In other words, DONT!)