Totally innocent

Scene: we are at a Hawaiian cultural appropriation party (aka luau) and several women including mum are discussing what the Hawaiian word for woman is.

Friend1: I think it’s maweenie. (It’s actually mahine)

Friend2: I wonder what man is?

Mum: If woman is maweenie, man must be weenie!

Me: WHAT DID YOU SAY??

Everyone: roaring with laughter

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Pass the brain bleach mum

Mum: You know what x said to me? They had been in the Dominican Republic recently.  They were on the beach. You know those bathing suits men wear, speedos?

Me: Oh yuck. Yeah, what about it.

Mum: Well x said that apparently there was a man who was too poor to afford one so he just used a sock to cover it!

Me: OH YUCK! MUM WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT!!!!