Scene: we are at a Hawaiian cultural appropriation party (aka luau) and several women including mum are discussing what the Hawaiian word for woman is.
Friend1: I think it’s maweenie. (It’s actually mahine)
Friend2: I wonder what man is?
Mum: If woman is maweenie, man must be weenie!
Me: WHAT DID YOU SAY??
Everyone: roaring with laughter
Mum: You know what x said to me? They had been in the Dominican Republic recently. They were on the beach. You know those bathing suits men wear, speedos?
Me: Oh yuck. Yeah, what about it.
Mum: Well x said that apparently there was a man who was too poor to afford one so he just used a sock to cover it!
Me: OH YUCK! MUM WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT!!!!