Scene: We are sitting in traffic and mom seems to think the person in the car next to us is wanting to street race. She jokingly encourages my dad to race.
Dad: Well didnt you actually street race once?
Mum: Yeah when I was young. I was sitting in traffic and some guy wants to street race and I’m like “Pots on you! Just because you have three legs doesnt mean I’m going to let you win!”
Me: Three. Legs? EEEEEEWWWWW!!! MOM!!!!
Mum: Well I wasn’t about to let him be like “I’m going to win just because I’m a man!” so I beat him!
Scene: Mum and I are watching a nature show where we see a gust of water shoot out of the surface of something. You can’t quite tell what the surface is, or what the source of then gust is.
Me: what is that?
Mum: maybe it’s a geezer?
Me: Geyser! Ahahahahaha!
As it turns out is a whale surfacing for air…
Scene: we are at a Hawaiian cultural appropriation party (aka luau) and several women including mum are discussing what the Hawaiian word for woman is.
Friend1: I think it’s maweenie. (It’s actually mahine)
Friend2: I wonder what man is?
Mum: If woman is maweenie, man must be weenie!
Me: WHAT DID YOU SAY??
Everyone: roaring with laughter
Scene: Mum came to my room this morning and is like “Lillibet I need your help”. I open the door, she is standing there holding her ipod and pretending to slap it.
Mum: She points to two icons on the camera, which is activated. Its the “options” icon and the “flip camera” icon. She says “Those werent there before”.
Me: YES THEY WERE. That one gives you OPTIONS and that one switches from front camera to the back one
Mum: Oh. So they WONT SHOW UP ON MY PICTURE?
So I downloaded a racing game (Real Racing or something) onto my mums ipod and she’s been playing it and just told me this:
“I was playing the racing game and there was a circle on the screen with a line through it and I didnt know what it meant until I had a head on collision with another car, I was going backwards and didnt know it. I guess when I hit the wall I got turned around!”
Scene: Watching Love it or List it with mum.
TV: Having a powder room on the ground floor is non-negotiable.
Me: What the heck is a powder room?
Mum: It’s the room around the corner, with a toilet and sink only.
Me: Why don’t they call it what it is then?
Mum: Well I guess because women mostly use it to do their make up. I mean what would you like them to call it, the pooping room?